Eating That Much Applebee's Would Make Anyone Fart by Ralph A. (19, M, Princeton, WV)
"Well.. I had met this girl through one of my friends, we all went bowling. She was pretty and looked good, so we all had a good time. After it was over she went back home which was 2 hours away so i figured, "it was fun, I'll never see you again".
I get word from one of my friends about a year later that she was back in town at the local campground and she was asking around about me. This made me happy. So I had it arranged to pick her up at the campground and take her out that night. I go to pick her up and on my way up the last road to where her campground was this really big girl with a peach fuzz mustache jumped in the road and waved me down. It was her (a lot can happen to a girl in a year)!
She told me that she was afraid I wouldn't find the place so she walked out. I thought, while I'm here I might as well go. So on our way to the restaurant she proceeds to tell me that she was on her period and it was really giving her hell today. I give a nervous laugh and try to change the subject. When we get to Applebees, she orders herself two drinks, 2 appetizers, and her main course with "extra everything", and actually finishes all of it before I finish my one little sandwich. She eats all this while explaining to me that all this food gives her sooo much gas and for me to, "keep the window down when we get back to the car".
A $50 dinner bill is hard on a college student who wasn't expecting to take a hog out to dinner by the way. Well anyways I decide that this was the end of the date and start to take her back to the campground. The whole way back she is giving me this "come hither" stare and I'm trying to act oblivious and hope that I won't get raped when we get back. After I pull back into the campground she takes a lunge at me and I duck for cover, she calls me a jerk and gets out of my car, but not before farting one last time. Worst date ever."
